This is session number 015 of the Influence Psychology and Persuasion podcast. In this show, I'll be discussing confidence and a misunderstanding about feelings in general.
I’m not very confident doing that. Or, I’m just not confident in those situations. These are common sayings for people every day, and as the listener, we seem to accept, without challenge this type of statement.
But….. as confidence is just a feeling, and we have to create our own feelings, why do we seem to think, this magic confidence dust happens by itself without our control or input. We seem to assume this “confidence” thing is a mystery.
Well, today I’ll go over some interesting facts about feelings and more importantly confidence. No longer will you have to be subject to the confidence fairy to see whether you’ll be blessed with confidence whenever and wherever you need it. It's time to gain control and have it when you need the stuff.
The first principle we need to cover should hopefully be clear. You have to “do” all of your feelings. No one else is in charge and no one can make you feel anything. Did you get that? No one else can make you feel anything. Just to reiterate as an example. Your neighbour didn't make you angry, your spouse didn't try to frustrate you. Feelings aren't given, they are taken. And feelings don't just appear, you create them.
So how do we create feelings that we want? The first answer that you will hear most often, will be to think confidently or positively. This is totally true and a reasonable start You do need to think and talk to yourself positively and confidently. However, there is a slight issue that most of us face. When we try to put on a brave face or brave attitude, and we start the positive internal incantations, the other little voices kick-in. You know the ones? The little guys on your shoulders that seem to bring you back down. Those voices are real and have a real impact on how we feel, but, there are ways to bring those on side too.